


Ragnarsdottir

by TheBGassassin



Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: Betrayal, Blood, Eventual Smut, F/M, Incest, Love Triangles, Psychopaths In Love, Rating: M, Twincest, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-24 00:38:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17694251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBGassassin/pseuds/TheBGassassin
Summary: You are Ivar's twin sister, but fate and your mother Aslaug have forced you apart. What will happen when you are finally reunited after many years?





	1. Chapter 1

**I** don’t remember much of my childhood. But what I do remember is my beloved twin brother - Ivar, with whom I was inseparable. Until someone horrible took him away from me. That someone was Aslaug. My own mother. 

 **Flashback** : 

I pulled Ivar’s wagon as I walked. We were only children back then. I was always with him, I was his legs, as he couldn’t use his. He sat in it silently and watched our surroundings. There was a small group of children playing a ball game. Ivar moved forward and started pulling my sleeve. I looked at him, my gaze softening at the sight of him. “Do you think we can play with them?” he asked me. I smiled, nodding my head. So I started pulling the wagon towards the children. 

But things didn’t go as planned. The children started making fun of Ivar, making me furious. They started laughing, throwing the ball over Ivar’s head purposely, while he put all his effort in catching it. I couldn’t watch anymore. I jumped and caught the ball, glaring at everyone around me. I gave it to Ivar with a reassuring smile. The next moment one of the brats ran to him and tried to snatch the ball away from him and even pushed him. That made me lose my mind with anger. Nobody was allowed to treat my brother like that! I loved Ivar unlike any other of my brothers. Ubbe and Hvitserk rarely talked to me because they were busy with their own boyish things and I couldn’t stand Sigurd because I always thought he was unpleasant and mean. As for Björn, I rarely saw him, because he was older than us and could go on raids with our father Ragnar. 

The next minute I had pulled out the axe we keep in Ivar’s wagon for self defense. I swung it and struck the little brat lethally. Where...I don’t remember. The others screamed and ran away. I probably had a vicious look on my face because even the grown ups seemed frightened. “Why did you do that, Y/N?” I heard Ivar say. “Because nobody has the right to do that to you.” I answered, my expression softening. He didn’t seem impressed that much by what I just did. Then I felt someone grab me roughly by the arm and pull me away. I dropped the axe and reached for Ivar. “Monster! You’re the monster! It was you all along!” I heard my own mother’s voice, which shocked me. I didn’t know what monster she was talking about. “Get away from my son!” she screamed.

Then I saw uncle Floki go to Ivar with an expression of pure confusion and shock. I called him uncle Floki because he was like a father to me and Ivar. He picked up Ivar in his arms and ran after us. “What are you doing?!” he asked my mother. “It’s none of your concern! I have to keep this monster away from my son before she harms him!” she kept yelling. My arm was now in pain. “You can’t separate them!” uncle Floki warned “They are twins!”

“Just watch me.“ Aslaug hissed. I didn’t cry, even if I understand what she intended to do. I didn’t feel anything. Then she pushed me in a cart and yelled at someone to take me somewhere. I gritted my teeth, my fury returning, and grabbed Aslaug by the hair and pulled with all my force. She screeched and tried to get away from me, but that didn’t happen until I had pulled out a thick lock of her golden, wavy hair. “Ivar!” I yelled at the top of my lungs, but then the cart took off. I tried to jump off, but the man driving it grabbed me and kept me in place.

**End of Flashback**

The rest of my childhood, I spent with a foster family, which was nice enough to take me in. I was a few villages away from Kattegat, but I didn’t really want to return there, because of Aslaug. If I ever see her again, I would have to kill her. I knew I was never her favorite. She cherished all of her other sons, but not me. She denied me everything and always neglected and pushed me away. But for some reason I still loved her, until she called me a monster and took my brother away from me. I haven’t seen Ivar since that horrid day and I missed him dearly. I always wondered how he was and what he was doing. 

I lived in the outskirts of this village, which made it easy for me to practice fighting and shooting with a bow. I always wanted to be a shield maiden, so I taught myself how to fight. Of course, everyone knew who I was and where I came from, but nobody dared say anything. They respected and feared me, because I was a princess. Ragnarsdottir. And I had the ambition to regain what was mine by right. Soon I gained the title “The cruel” or “The heartless” and I liked them both, because they inspire respect and fear. 

A day ago, a man from the village came to tell me something interesting. The Ragnarssons were coming this way. My heart skipped a beat because if that was true, I would finally see my twin again. I couldn’t sleep that very night because of anticipation. I wanted to know what they were here for. I woke up early because of that very same reason and I had nothing better to do than to target practice. 

I shot a few arrows and only just waited for my brothers to come. That was when I heard a noise of incoming footsteps. I smirked to myself and shot an arrow, which hit a tree right when one of my brothers came into sight. The arrow was just inches away from his head. He jumped back and pulled out his sword, looking around. He had long, dirty-blonde hair, a sparse beard and quite a childish face. A second man came into sight and I immediately recognized him as Björn Ironside. After all, who in all of Norway and Göteland wouldn’t know his face. He seemed to have noticed me and I smiled. “I’m sorry.” I yelled at them, as they were a bit far to hear me talk normally “I didn’t see you there.” I smirked again.

I sat with them near the fireplace of my home. My foster parents gave them food and drinks. I came to know them now. The one I nearly shot was Hvitserk. Ubbe had also changed alot. He became a man now. They all seemed glad to meet me again after all this time. All but Sigurd, of course. But what saddened me was that my twin was not with them.

“So, what brings you here after all this time?“ I asked. “We came to take you back.“ Björn answered, looking at me seriously. “Yes, Y/N. Mother misses you dearly.“ Ubbe continued, but I caught him lying. “If mother misses me so much she should have come get me herself!“ I snapped at him “And she would never have gotten rid of me in the first place.“ I downed the last of my ale and put my legs on the table. “And I suppose someone else stopped caring as well.“ I said, a sad note in my voice. Apparently they realized who I was talking about and Ubbe started explaining “Mother didn’t let him come. Trust me, he is dying to see you. He wanted to come with us with all his heart, but she said that his condition would slow us down and that it’s too dangerous for him to be so far away from home.“ he rolled his eyes in the end. I looked at them all one by one. Ubbe and Björn were looking at me expectantly, Sigurd was staring into the fire and Hvitserk was too busy with his food. I scoffed “Alright. I’ll come back with you. I miss my twin dearly. Tell me, is he getting better or is he still the same?“

We left early in the morning. I had said my goodbyes to the people who raised me with the promise to come visit them again. “So you never told me. How did Aslaug accept to send you to bring back the monster she wanted to stay away from.” I said in a mocking manner. “Well...” Ubbe bit his lip “It’s complicated...” I rolled my eyes and walked away from him, deciding to just go talk to Björn, “And what of Ragnar?” I asked him “What did she tell him about me? That I was dead? Lost?” Björn looked at me saddened “He cried, Y/N. I’m sure you know that I had a sister. Her death was hard to overcome. But when Aslaug lied about yours, he broke...Kept repeating that it’s his second daughter’s death.” he explained. “Then I can’t wait to go back and tell him I’m alive!” I said smiling. Then he put his hand on my shoulder and bit his lip. Something was off... “Y/N... He is gone. Nobody knows what happened to him.”

Kattegat was almost the same as I remember it. The buildings, the people... I was calm. I knew what to say and do when I step through the entrance and see the woman that neglected me all my life. I was excited to hug Ivar again and tell him how much I missed him after all these years.

I followed my brothers through the large doors and nostalgia hit me. It was just as I remember it. All the same. The room was large, with long tables and benches around them, there was a fireplace and the two thrones meant for the king and queen. On one of the thrones was sitting Aslaug and her intense gaze met with my glare. We didn’t say anything to each other. The tension building up fast and my brothers noticed it, ready to hold me back if necessary.

“Y-Y/N?“ I heard a male voice call my name quietly, almost with disbelief, not trusting his own eyes. My eyes widened and I turned around. I didn’t have to have heard the voice before to recognize who it belonged to. I turned around almost immediately and ran towards my beloved twin brother. He had just sat on one of the benches to greet me with a proper embrace. I threw myself in his arms and all the tears I had been holding back all this time came crashing down and I soon found out that I had soaked his tunic. I didn’t even care that everyone was watching. “I can’t believe it’s really you.“ he scoffed, smiling down at me. I smirked through the tears and teased “If I remember correctly, you aren’t blind.“ He laughed “I came back for you.“ I continued, smiling up at him “I came to see you. I’ve missed you so much!“

He was about to say something, but then Aslaug’s cold voice interrupted us. “Leave me to speak with my daughter alone.” And as if by signal, my four brothers left, leaving just me, Aslaug and Ivar, who didn’t want to let me go, nor did I - him. “That goes for you as well, Ivar.” Aslaug continued. “I want to stay.” he said, just as strictly. “I said -” she started, but I cut her off mid-sentence. “It’s alright, Ivar. We will catch up later.” I smiled reassuringly and let go of him to walk up to the queen of Kattegat. “Well.” I said coldly “What do you want to talk about?” She waited until Ivar crawled out of the building to rejoin his brothers, until she spoke. “I want to say a few things to you.” she said finally. 

I paced around in front of her and looked at her amused. “Things?” I repeated mockingly “Wait, I’m sure it’s me who has to say alot of things to you, not vice versa.” I paused “Like what kind of a mother would send her own child away all the while calling it _the_ monster!” Her eye twitched. Apparently I hit a weak spot. “What monster were you talking about?!” I yelled. “I warned him. I warned your father not to force himself on me, or I will give birth to a monster. And my prophecy was true.” she said slowly. “At first everyone thought it was Ivar who was the monster because he is a cripple. But then you showed your true face.” she looked down on me. I scoffed with amusement “Oh, but mother. You gave birth to twins. Do you not know that twins are the two sides of the same coin?”

 


	2. Chapter 2

“She waited until she was certain Ragnar was gone.“ Floki explained to me. “Aslaug told him you were dead and if you came back all of a sudden, he wouldn’t forgive her this time.“ he scoffed, but the sadness in his laugh was obvious “He was very fond of you that Ragnar. His little girl Y/N.“

Those words made me sad as well. It would have been great if I had the chance to grow up with him instead of with strangers. After I returned to Kattegat and was reunited with Ivar, I spent most of my time with him. Several days later I decided to pay a visit to an old friend. He was very wise, even if he pretended to be a fool. I went to his and his wife Helga’s home and they gladly greeted me with some food and ale. “That doesn’t explain why she wants me back.” I said as I drank from my cup. “Even a blind man would notice that Ivar didn’t grow up the way he would have with you here. He became short-tempered. He gets into fights...” Floki explained with a sigh. “Nobody knows for certain why she decided to bring you back. Some say she wants to kill you, others say that she feels remorse. And your brothers say that they did this on their own, because you are their family.”

I stayed silent and shrugged my shoulders. “Even if she wants to kill me, we both know that can’t happen. No matter how she tries, I would still win over her and take the-” I stopped there, thinking I told him more than he should know. I pretended to be busy with my food.

After I said my goodbyes to uncle Floki and Helga I decided to just go home and spend some time with Ivar. We had so much to catch up to and I already visited all the important people to me. I didn’t care about the rest. I calmly walked back home and made my way to me and Ivar’s shared room. Everyone was staring at us strangely when we demanded to share a room, but what’s the big deal? We are twins after all!

I found Ivar in our room, his back on me. I immediately sensed something was off. My brothers all left last night and came back without Ivar and when I asked them what’s going on they looked at each other awkwardly. Ubbe was the only one to speak “Ivar...he has a meeting.” he said and bit his lip. Hvitserk paced around in a circle for a moment and Sigurd just stared at the floor with what seemed like anger. “Meering?” I asked with confusion “Why don’t I know about this meeting? He hasn’t told me.” Ubbe put his hand on my shoulder “He will be back, Y/N. It was just something unexpected and nobody had the time to tell anyone.” he explained. “He told **you**!” I barked out with jealousy. “Someone had to take him there.” he defended. “I want to see him! Where is he?! Is he with a woman?!” I started yelling. Ubbe grabbed both my shoulders and shook me “Y/N, relax! He will be back very soon. You will see him, don’t worry.” and before I could say anything else, he and the others left me dumbstruck in the middle of the hall.

Ivar didn’t come back while I was awake. In the morning I saw him still sleeping and I didn’t want to wake him up. Apparently he came back too late and was now tired. Now I saw him for the first time of the day and I noticed that he was sad. I walked over to him and put my hand on his shoulder. “Ivar?” I spoke. He didn’t respond. He didn’t even look at me. He was staring at the wall with a neutral expression, hands in his lap. “Ivar...” I crouched in front of him and bit my lip “Tell me, what’s bothering you?”

“Y/N...“ he whispered, pain and disappointment in his voice. He still didn’t look at me. “I hate myself...“ his expression suddenly twisted into that of pure pain and he buried his face in his hands, now sobbing. I jumped and gathered him in my arms. “Hush, Ivar, tell me...What’s wrong, I can help you.“ I spoke, trying to calm him down “Is it because of last night’s sudden meeting?“ He buried his head in the crook of my neck where his tears made the hem of my tunic wet. He stayed silent. “Ivar...“ I whispered and kissed the top of his head. Watching my twin, the one I share flesh and blood with, like this made my heart break. Soon I felt my own tears fall down my cheeks. “I can’t...“ he sobbed “I will never marry...“ That statement surprised me and I looked down at him “What do you mean?!“ I said. “No woman will ever want me when I can’t...“ he choked on his sobs again “Ivar... You can’t what? Walk? That doesn’t matter, trust-“

“I can’t pleasure a woman!“ he hissed out suddenly, cutting me off. For a moment I just stood there, unable to know what to say. “Last night I was away because I asked my brothers to set me up with a slave girl. Marghrette.“ he explained. “Everything was fine until I found out that I...“ He explained as much before he leaded his head on my chest and more sobs came from his throat. I knew that girl Marghrette. I wanted to beat her because she spilled three cups of wine on me two days ago. But Ubbe and Hvitserk didn’t let me. “If she tells somebody, how am I going to walk past anyone without them making a fool of me...“ he whispered. “Hush, dear. I will make sure she doesn’t tell anyone.“ I promised, caressing his head. “Until then, look at me.“ I said and cupped his face, so he can look into my eyes. I smiled reassuringly “When I was just a little girl, my old man told me that one day I will find my soul mate.“ I said “The man I will grow old with and who I will love unconditionally and he will - me. I didn’t believe that, because I thought that nobody would love someone so much. Until I thought about it. You are my twin, Ivar. Instead of searching and finding, my soulmate was born in this world with me.“ I caressed his cheeks with my thumbs “I love you unconditionally, I want to grow old with you...We were born together to stay together. Your soulmate is already determined. That’s why you couldn’t pleasure that slave girl. Because she is nobody and the Gods just want to show you that.“ His look softened. He believed me and calmed down. “You’re right, Y/N. We were born together to stay together. We really are soulmates.“ he said quietly and a small smile appeared on his lips, as he looked at me with adoration. “Nothing can bring us apart.“ I continued “The obstacle is gone now. We are together again. And we will stay together.“ 

He gripped the front of my tunic and brought me closer to him “Y/N...” he whispered, looking in my eyes “Kiss me.”

After Ivar’s mood got better, I decided to settle everything with that slave girl. I found her just outside the pigs den. I grabbed her by the back of her dress and started pulling her in the storage place for the hay and grain. “Scream, and it will be your last, slave.” I hissed through my teeth and threw her on a hay bale. I got on top of her and wrapped my hand around her neck, my other hand unsheathing my dagger “Ubbe and Hvitserk didn’t let me teach you respect, but nobody will save you if you tell.” I looked down at her with hatred. “Who will miss you? You’re just a slave. Your absence wouldn’t even be noticed, because someone else will come in your place.”  

“I don’t know what you’re talking about...“ she said with a weak voice, one that made me hate her more. She always had to be the innocent one. “I don’t have anything to tell anyone...“ I slapped her “You know very well what I’m talking about.“ I smirked, my face twisting until a grin of madness formed and apparently it looked scary her expression became one of pure horror. “If you concluded that my brother can’t please you, whore, let’s see how you will prefer me.“ I said, pressing the dagger to her chest and slicing away at her dress. This was just the beginning. Soon everyone will know why they call me ‘Y/N the heartless‘

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

“What did you do to her?“ Ivar asked me when he saw me walk through the door to our shared room and outstretched his hand for me to take. I smirked and intertwined our fingers, laying next to him on the bed and rested my head on his chest. “She begged me to stop.“ I said “But I told her that if she said it one more time I was going to slit her throat.“. Ivar scoffed and pulled me to himself in an embrace “Then you got the result you desired?“ he asked, caressing my hair. I nodded “Yes, my dear, the job is done.“ I looked up at him with a smile “I told you that what you thought wasn’t true. You shouldn’t have judged by a slave girl. Did you see that I turned out right?“ Ivar laughed “You always have to turn out right, don’t you?“ I pouted and sat up “Why yes, because I **am** always right.“ I stuck my tongue out at him, to which he smirked and pulled me back down by the arm and crashed his lips to mine.

**< timeskip>**

I was awoken by a loud crash at the door. It was somewhat midday. Ubbe walked in with a concerned expression. Luckily for me, I had all my clothes on this time so he didn’t suspect my secret relationship with Ivar, which was going on for awhile now. This serious fact escaped even the hawk-eyed Aslaug who refused and refused and refused to trust me and whenever she had to talk to me there was always a suspicious, haughty look in her eyes and a sharp-tongued voice. Well, if she didn’t know, then we were hiding pretty well. “Y/N, you have to come.” he said in a somewhat demanding tone “It’s urgent and concerns all of us.” I looked around and noticed that Ivar wasn’t next to me. I looked back at Ubbe “What’s going on?” I asked. “You will have to see...” he said “I’m waiting for you outside.”

I kept asking him what’s going on, but he would tell me that I will see soon. We made our way through a crowd of people who were gathered around something. Apparently it was serious, because they were all silent. I noticed my other brothers in the front line and me and Ubbe joined them. A second later I saw Ivar join us as well. I looked up ahead and what I saw made me back away from surprise. “Ragnar...?” I whispered. Who wouldn’t know his face. Even though he had grey locks in his hair and long beard and wrinkles on his face that has seen so much worry everyone still recognized their king even if he looked like a pauper in the rags he was dressed in

He noticed me and smiled wide. “Y/N, my daughter!” he yelled for all the people to hear and walked slowly up to me. ”My daughter isn’t dead! I’ve always known!” Then he embraced me warmly “My only daughter.”. I was too surprised to react. Slowly I wrapped my arms around him and returned the embrace. Then he let go and proceeded to talk to my brothers. I didn’t know how to feel. I didn’t know what had happened to him. Aslaug told me he was dead. And now he stand in front of me out of flesh and blood.

I zoned out of everything until I heard him yell. “WHO WANTS TO BE KING?” I jumped at the sound and looked at him. “Who will kill me and become king?!” he continued. Then he started mocking my brothers, starting with Björn. “Don’t you want to be king, Björn?”. He didn’t answer. “What about you, Ubbe? _King_ Ubbe!” Ragnar continued with his second oldest son. “Kill me. KILL ME!”

I looked down at Ivar. I could tell in his eyes that he too was tempted to be king. But when Ragnar reached him, he didn’t say the same things he said to the others. So he was looking down on Ivar as well. I stepped up and yelled “I want to be queen!” Everyone suddenly looked at me. Ragnar smiled and scoffed “Queen Y/N. I always thought it would suit you.” he said and threw me a sword. I looked at it “I won’t kill you, father.” I said “My issues are not with you. You haven’t wronged me. I will become queen through other ways.” he immediately understood what I mean. “Very well.” he sighed.

After the encounter on the town square, we had some time to talk alone. He told me what happened to him. Apparently he couldn’t swallow the demise he suffered on a raid that happened in Paris. I, too, told him what had happened to me and where I was all this time. “I felt horrible when I found out you were dead.” he suddenly changed the topic “You had a sister, you know. Björn might have told you. She died very young too.” he stopped there. “But I’m not dead! I’m here.” I said. “I see that, Y/N. You’ve proven yourself a true daughter of Ragnar.” he said jokingly and smiled, hugging me again. “I want to go on a final raid.” he shared. “Can I come?” I asked with hope that we can spend more time together. He shook his head “You have a dream to work on, don’t you?” he glanced at me with a smirk. Before I could pout, I realized what he meant and smiled even wider “Father-” but he cut me off “I won’t stop you from doing anything to achieve your goal. I’m practically no one to do that. But I want to tell you one thing. Be wise. Choose the right decisions. And most importantly, be righteous. ” he kissed the top of my head “ And one more thing. Be weary of traitors and bad people. Don’t trust anyone without reason or you will be sorry after.” he warned me, sadness in his voice as if he remembered a memory that brought him here. “Good luck, my daughter.” I hugged him tightly “I wish all this wouldn’t have happened so we can be a real family...” I said, sadness in my voice. “I wish that too. But I’m just glad you’re alive and well and grown up with good people.” he smiled and stood up “Well, you’d better be going now. I have some unfinished work as well.” he started to walk away. I watched after him long after he left.

I decided to go to the seer later that day. I had questions I needed the answers to. When I walked through the flap of the seer’s tent, I saw that he started laughing when he noticed I walked in. “I knew you would come, daughter of Ragnar.” he spoke in his deep, mysterious voice. “After all these years, you-” but I cut him off mid-sentence “I didn’t come here to discuss when and why I returned to Kattegat. I need answers.” He motioned for me to sit and I did so. “Tell me, first of all, will I be queen?” I asked. “Oh, yes, you will be. You will be queen of the hearts of two men.” he answered shortly after “One of which, you will tear out with no remorse as if you are gutting a rabbit.” he laughed again. “I mean, will I be queen of Norway?” I asked in a low, yet, dangerous voice. “You will be queen through deception. But tread cautiously, girl, the path you chose is filled with dangers and one wrong step could get you killed.” he answered me. “Will Aslaug kill me?” I asked him. “No. Your killers will be two.” I bit my lip “Then when will that be?” He stayed silent for a long time. “You will die twice. The first time will be the most vile and wretched and it will continue until your last day here in Midgard.” he finally said after what felt like forever. “Who will kill me?” I yelled and jumped, slamming my hands on the table “A shadow of your own self will do it.” he smirked and looked at me and I felt his intense gaze even though he doesn’t have any eyes. I gasped and fell back down in my chair “...Ivar?” I asked quietly, cautiously, afraid of the answer. What else could this shadow of my own self mean if not that? “No, no.” he answered me quickly “This shadow will kill every good in you until nothing is left but hatred and lust for power. And it will be your own fault.” 

“And the second time?“ I said, a little over a whisper. I was devastated. Is my fate really that bad... “The second time, you will die when the lies become truth. **_The hammer of Thor_** will strike you down.“


	4. Chapter 4

After my visit to the seer, I came home feeling frazzled. If the Gods hated me this much, then there’s no point in trying to kneel in a desperate attempt to suck up to them. I was going to go against them just as they do against me even if I was alone. “You won’t break me, Gods, I will achieve my goal even if I have to slaughter the entire world.” I murmured under my breath. “Did you say anything?” I heard the familiar voice of Björn behind me. I jumped and turned around, meeting him face to face. I forced myself to smile and shook my head “No, no. I was just...thinking out loud.” I said. He scoffed and moved closer to me “Thinking? About what?” he asked me again with a slight smile. “My own things.” I answered, a bit sharper than I intended. “May I take a guess about what,  _Queen Y/N._ ” he raised his eyebrows with the same slight smile in a teasing manner. I frowned “Björn-” I started, but he cut me off. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry.” he laughed patted my shoulder “Listen, I want to go on a raid.” he said. “With who? Father?” I asked. “No. I want to organize my own raid. I want to go even further than father has gone.” he explained. That statement sparked my interest “Is that so? Where?” I tilted my head on the side with a smirk. “I’ve heard of a place called the Mediterranean. I want to explore it, raid, plunder. And maybe gain new territories.” he said, confidence in his voice. “Are you sure this place exists? And if it does, will your ships endure until you get there? What if you get lost? What if you get stranded there?” I showered him in questions, to which he merely laughed “Well there’s only one way to find out. You win or you lose if you risk.” he said “Wouldn’t you like to come? You haven’t been on a raid before, I presume?” I shook my head “No. But I would love to. I want to see new places. Warm places, different than the cold here, different than everything here... I want to see the world!” I answered him. If father didn’t want to take me with him on his raid, I will go with Björn if he will have me. He scoffed at my enthusiasm “You are more than welcome to join me. That is, if you can fight.” he winked. “I think I have proven myself that I can after I nearly shot Hvitserk’s head off. But you be the judge if I can fight or not.” I mocked him with a devilish smirk spread across my lips. “You have a point, but you will have to prove you can do more than shoot arrows.” he ruffled my hair playfully, which caused me to pout again. I pushed him off and grabbed his arm. I swiftly ducked behind him, twisting his arm behind his back and kicked his knees, making him fall on them, to which he winced, but never stopping to laugh. “How was that, Ironside?” I smirked and let go of him. “You just caught me off guard, is all. But not bad for a girl.” he smirked and just as he was about to get up, I pounced on him again, this time wrapping my arms around his shoulders, making us both fall over to the ground with laughter. 

Björn inviting me to his raid was one of the nicest things any of my brothers have ever done for me. He was nice unlike Ubbe, who I felt was talking to me just because he feels that he has to, because we were related. Hvitserk still didn’t really give me any attention and Sigurd was the same as before, just rudely glaring at me and grumbling things under his breath. 

“Hey, Björn.“ I said, catching his attention. We were now fighting with swords in the nearby training field, because he wanted to see how I handle a sword. So far I wasn’t giving into him and was actually quite a competition, much to his surprise. “Why do you think Aslaug accepted to bring me back? I mean, if she told the entire Kattegat that I was dead and I turn up alive and well, that would get alot of people to hate her.“ Björn sighed and threw his sword to the side and motioned for me to come with him. We sat under the shade of a tree “Because Ivar rallied against her. Apparently, only he knew you were alive.“ he explained “It took awhile, because she refused many times. I was told you were dead as well. But then Ivar told me that he knew you were alive. I convinced Ubbe, Hvitserk and Sigurd to come with me and bring you back, even if your mother didn’t want it. And all this happened a bit secretly from her. She found out in the last moment when we were already gone and she didn’t have any other choice. You were family after all! It’s not natural to leave strangers to look after you.“ 

“Why didn’t he say anything earlier?“ I asked, a bit disappointed. “Aslaug told him not to. She tried convincing him that you were dead, as well. But it didn’t work, I guess. He knew it even if you weren’t next to him. It’s something with twins I suppose.“ he laughed a bit. “Apparently he wanted to become older, so she takes him seriously. There’s no great philosophy or deep story behind why you are back with us, Y/N.“ he said and placed his hand on my shoulder, looking into my eyes with sympathy. I looked away from him. So that was the entire story. I expected something more glorious. “When he was still a child, Ivar never stopped thrashing around that he wants you back. At some point, when he got older, he stopped talking about it and we all thought he just accepted the fact that you were gone. But then he offered to find you. Trust me, it wasn’t easy. We searched and searched for months and months, and it ended up that you were just under our noses.“ he scoffed “We were ready to give up and go back to Kattegat. But then on the way, a man stopped us and said he knows a girl named Y/N, who claims to be the daughter of Ragnar. I have a question for you, Y/N. Why didn’t you come back on your own?“ he asked me suddenly. “Because of Aslaug I suppose. She threw me away like a filthy stray animal and if I went back, it would look like I’m begging for her attention. In other words, I guess I just go to places where I’m not welcome.“ I shrugged my shoulders.

An awkward silence stepped in, because he didn’t say anything. I started playing around with some leaves and branches, fallen from the tree. “So, when are we going on the raid?” I asked him with a smile. “When I gain enough men and supplies. Not to mention the ships.” he chuckled “Soon, I would say.” I decided to ask him if Ivar could come with us. I hoped he didn’t look down on him like everyone else did. Ivar was very capable of fighting and taking care of himself, even though he was in this condition. He was strong and has shown it many times during our training, not to mention that he was very, very clever. “Can Ivar come?” I tilted my head on the side. I watched him look away and bite his bottom lip. “Y/N...Ivar...” he started, but stopped midway, trying to find words to say. “You look down on him too don’t you?” I asked, my voice darkening “You think he will be a burden.”. Björn sighed slightly “Look, Y/N. We are all siblings. If we don’t look after Ivar, who will? I don’t want anything bad to happen to him and I want to protect him as much as I can.” he explained. ”And how will that happen if you are somewhere oversea and he is here then?” I mocked. “And how will that happen when we are in battle?”. I shrugged my shoulders and continued to play with the leaves. “You don’t know him like I do.” I stated “He fights just as well as anyone.”

“I understand that.“ he said “Alright, let’s see what he will say then, will that be okay?“ I shrugged again “Even if he refuses, I still want to come with you. This will be my first raid. I want to fight along side all of you.“ I smiled “I want to see the world, I want to raid, plunder, try new things... I want to see new places, warmer places, different cultures. I want to eat food we haven’t seen before, see animals we never thought would exist...“ I dozed off into my own daydreams. Björn watched me with a smile “Y/N. I’m sure you would be a great ruler, but I think it wouldn’t suit you. You want to travel the world, yet you have to sit on a throne all day.“ he said, slight concern in his voice “You’re more fit to be a raider, not a ruler.“ I turned my head to look at him and sat up “What’s wrong with being both a ruler and raider? Father was both! But I want to be something better. I don’t just want to raid and walk away after. I want to be a conqueror!“ I said, raising my voice a bit. “I will pick up where father left off! I will enforce Kattegat and enlarge it. Göteland will become a simple suburb! Northumbria, Mercia and Wessex will turn into mere farmland for us! The mighty, impregnable Paris will burn to the ground! Even your Mediterraenian will fall within days after I lead my armies there! The men will be our mercenaries, the women - our slaves! The entire world will fall to it’s knees when I sit on the throne! Imagine it, Björn! The world in our hands. Kings and queens will come to me to ask for mercy and I will have them blood-eagled! Wouldn’t you want to see our people rule the world?“ A devilish grin stretched across my lips, a maniacal tint in my eyes. I realized that I had grabbed him by the shoulders and started shaking him as I poured my ambitions into words. He clicked his tongue and pushed me to sit down again. “Those are some big plans, sister.“ he smirked “If that is your dream, I don’t have any other choice but to wish you luck. But first, you have to find a way to get to the throne.“ he looked at me with a raised eyebrow. “You know, you resemble Ivar and Ragnar more than anyone. You’re very ambitious, you’re brave, a great warrior. You’re not afraid to stand against the world even if you are alone...“ he chuckled “But you should know, you’re not alone. If you need help, I will answer as soon as I can.“ I smiled when he reassured me “Thank you, Björn!“

“I wish you the best of luck, sister.“ he smiled. Then he stood up and motioned for me to follow him “Come on! A good queen should know how to fight and that was just a warm up for me.“ he winked and picked up his sword. I laughed and followed.

We parted ways at around twilight. I was exhausted after the training session with Björn. He turned out quite the competition, but what else could be expected from the great Björn Ironside? When I got home, it was already dinner time and I had to get ready. 

When I walked into the dining room, I was the first to sit on the table. Not long after, I heard Ivar crawl into the room and get up onto the chair across from me. He acted like he didn’t see me, which I thought was odd. I stood up and walked over to him to hug him but he glared at me “Where were you all day?” he asked me surprisingly calm. “I was training with Björn.” I answered. “And?” Ivar shifted in his place and watched me with amusement. I started walking back to my own seat “What And?” I said sharply and sat down. He shrugged his shoulders, watching me with an expectant expression, mixed with amusement “Anything else you want to share?” he asked. “Well, he has plans to go on a raid and asked if I want to go with him.” I avoided his gaze, knowing that he is glaring daggers at me. “And you will go?” he raised his eyebrows. “Well, it would be nice. I haven’t been on a raid before. Father doesn’t want to take me on his raid, so I will go with Björn.” I said simply with a calm tone.

“And **_how did you convince him_** to take you on his raid?“ he hissed with an evil smirk, laying stress on the words. I stayed silent for a moment with a blank expression. I understood exactly what he meant and it hurt me even if I didn’t show it. I didn’t want to give him the pleasure of seeing me hurt at this moment. How could he think something like that? I stood up and stormed over to him with large steps and slapped him across the face with a stone expression. “How could you?“ I was ready to do it again, but he grabbed my hand, stopping me. I raised my other hand but he overpowered me easily and had me on his lap in no time with my arms behind my back. I struggled and thrashed against him, but he only laughed “See how easily even a cripple can overpower you? And you want to go fighting against real warriors.“ he clicked his tongue “Fine then.“ he pushed me off him. I growled at him, but again, he mocked me by smirking and sticking his tongue out at me. “If you want to know, I’m the one going with father.“ he said casually.

My heart sunk. Father wanted to take Ivar instead of me... Ragnar preferred to leave me here, rather than take me with him and Ivar... I opened my mouth to say something, but words didn’t come out. I didn’t know what to say for the first time in my life. “Jealous?” he smiled in a teasing way, which made me even madder. “No. I’m actually happy for you.” I smiled the way he did and paced around the table “I’m glad you get to spend time with father. Even though nobody will want to go with him, you can be his hope. Go wherever you want. I’m not stopping you.” 

I didn’t have any mood during the entire dinner. Ivar didn’t stop talking how he was going to raid with Ragnar. Aslaug was clearly dissatisfied, but pretended to be proud of him the entire time. I didn’t really turn my attention to him. I pretended he wasn’t there and I noticed he was getting irritated because of it. I even ignored Sigurd when he and Ivar started bickering again. Normally. I would step up for Ivar and give Sigurd a lesson he won’t forget. But things escalated to more than just threats and remarks. I watched with disgust as Ivar tried to stand and walk to catch up to Sigurd who was mocking him. Eventually Ivar fell over. Aslaug of course didn’t do anything until it was too late, so I decided to step in even though he made me mad earlier.

I pushed my chair back and walked after Sigurd. He went too far this time and he was going to pay the price.


	5. Chapter 5

After dinner and after my “talk” with Sigurd, I didn’t come home, because I didn’t want to talk with Ivar after what he had told me earlier. It turned out that Sigurd was easy to bargain with but only after a few kicks in the gut. I let out all my anger on him and wasn’t even sorry. I didn’t care if he was gonna tell Aslaug because her opinion on me mattered little.

I roamed the streets of Kattegat, kicking everything out of my way. Suddenly I felt a hand wrap around my upper arm I was ready to turn around and flay the skin off the face of whoever it was, until I heard the all-too familiar voice of Björn. “Woah! Someone’s mad!” he stated with a bit of amusement in his voice. “Don’t tease me, Björn, I’m mad enough to gouge your eyes out.” I warned. “Yes, I figured.” He shrugged “Do you think there is anything I can do to make your mood better?” he asked, smiling warmly. I looked at him with confusion, the sight of his smile made me feel better. “Depends.” I answered cautiously. “Even a present?” he raised his eyebrows expectantly. “Present?” my face lit up. He motioned with his arm for me to follow him and follow him I did. He really got me a present!

He took me to what looked like a stable. We went inside and Björn lit up a torch so we can see better.  Somewhere in the back, I heard whimpering and looked at him with confusion. He just smiled reassuringly and took me to the area where it was coming from. When I saw what he had gotten me, I gasped and covered my mouth with my hand. In a hay bale, there were three black puppies, snuggled into each other. They weren’t exactly babies, but not exactly grown-ups either. I jumped to hug Bjórn who gladly accepted the hug with a chuckle. “Thank you! They are so precious!” I shouted. Then I let go of him and fell on my knees to shower the little ones with affection. Two boys and a girl. They were pure black with green eyes, long slender tails, long legs and strong jaws. They weren’t furry but that didn’t matter to me.

“I thought you would like a small welcome back gift.” Bjórn explained. I looked up at him, my face beaming with happiness. “Oh, Björn, they are lovely! Thank you!” I exclaimed. Sometimes I wondered who exactly cares about me in truth. Björn was so kind to me ever since I came back to Kattegat. He was the only person who actually cared, apart from Ivar. I thought atleast Ragnar would be happier to see me, but I was yet again disappointed. He left me again to go raiding with Ivar, who is also going to leave me as it seems.  

We stayed with the hounds awhile longer and then Björn suggested we go to the tavern. I accepted. I could use some time away from all the tension back home and Björn’s presence was so calming. “Sometimes I feel like only you really acknowledge my existence here, brother.” I sighed as we drank our ale. “And I feel like only you really want me here.” He looked at me surprised. “Don’t say that. Of course we want you here.” I looked down “Well, that’s what you say. Aslaug hates me, Ubbe talks to me out of duty, Hvitserk doesn’t even notice I’m around, I always fight with Sigurd and Ivar…I feel like he only uses me for…” I glanced at him and bit my lip. I couldn’t tell him…not because I didn’t trust him but because this was our secret and only we should know. “I’m the rogue of the family.” I laughed bitterly “Neither Aslaug or her sons want me nor your mother Lagertha, because I’m not her child.” Björn looked down, a bit guilty.

We stayed for quite a long time, not really noticing how fast the time passed. We talked all night long until I saw the sun starting to come up. Then he offered to escort me home. I was tired. I needed to sleep.

When I finally got home, I expected everyone to be asleep, but on the contrary. Aslaug was fast awake and sitting on one of the thrones in the hall. She almost looked like she had spent the night here. Apparently she was waiting for me, because she hissed out “So, you’re finally home. Let me guess, you spent the night with Björn Ironside?” she said the last sentence with pure disgust. “Where I spend my nights is none of your concern.” I answered sharply. Why was everyone thinking that I sleep with him?! She scoffed “Yes, it’s none of my concern, actually. You’re right. But I beg of you…” she stood up from the throne and walked over to me. “Sleep with whoever you deem worthy, but don’t manipulate my son in such a foul way…”

I stood there, shocked and frozen. How did she know of me and Ivar? “How do you…” I asked quietly, but she cut me off “From where I know, it doesn’t matter.” She answered coldly “I only want you to stop manipulating him like this.”. I frowned “I assure you that I am in no way manipulating him. I love him in a way neither you nor anyone would understand. And he does – me.” I watched her eye twitch and she pressed her lips together, forming a thin line. “I do not sleep with anyone else, if you think you should know.” I retorted and turned on my heels and started walking to my room.

I silently entered, careful not to wake Ivar, who was asleep on the bed. I noticed that he looks peaceful only when he was asleep, which saddened me in a way. I crawled into bed, still careful not to wake him. I watched him for awhile, just admiring his features and couldn’t resist to caress his cheek. Suddenly I felt him grab my hand roughly and pull me to him. “Where were you all night?” he hissed “With Björn again?!” he opened his eyes and looked at me in a way that felt like he was piercing me with knives. “Ivar, it’s not what you think…” I said silently. He didn’t listen to me. “You are mine!” he hissed through his teeth and his other hand snaked around my waist. “If I see you with anyone else, I will kill him. You are mine and mine only!” Then I felt him crash his lips onto mine and press my body against his roughly.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Despite the more than friendly attitude Ivar and I shared the night before, we still acted cold towards each other because apparently Ivar still didn’t quite trust me when I say that I don’t sleep with Björn and didn’t approve of the idea of me going with him on a raid. I don’t blame him. Nobody believes it and it’s almost as if all of Kattegat thinks that, but I would never think of Björn as more than a brother to me.

Of course, Ivar met the hounds Björn gave me as a gift and it was obvious that he wasn’t pleased. He just smiled that vague smile and told me that I can have whatever I want as long as it makes me happy. I named the biggest male Bjarke because he appeared to be the strongest and biggest one and that reminded me of a bear. The female one I called Eira because while I was training them to fight, I noticed she bites and scratches, but never kills, proving her to be quite merciful, which disappoints me. The other male hound I named Ingolf, because was quiet in his steps and howled like a wolf.

I decided to take them with me on the raid, because I was afraid someone might hurt them, plus that they would prove useful and I wanted to spend some more time with them. 

I tied the ropes around their necks and wrapped them around my wrist because they were quite strong and I might accidentally let go of them if they decide to chase something. I took whatever else I needed as provision and made my way to the docks, where Björn’s men were gathering for sailing away. “You aren’t thinking of bringing them with us, are you?” Björn appeared next to me and startled me for the thousandth time. “Oh! Why do you always have to do that?” I punched his arm, to which he just laughed. Bjarke and Ingolf circled around him and Björn let them sniff his hand, then pet their heads. “Well, it’s not my fault you walk as if you have curtains around you.” he smirked. I rolled my eyes “And yes, I want to bring them with us.” Björn shrugged and said it was alright with him. He accompanied me to the docks where the men started cheering at the sight of him and we met up with our brothers. Ivar was there too and I secretly hoped that he changed his mind and decided to come with me instead.

“Sister.“ he smirked at me when he saw me with Björn “I hope your voyage is successful. May you come back with many riches and goods none of us have seen here. I hope you find Thor’s hammer there and bring it back!“ I knew he didn’t really mean it and I just stared at him blankly. “I wish you the same, Ivar. I hope you find it and bring it back yourself because several old men can’t even lift their own bodies from their beds in the morning, let alone the Hammer of Thor.“ I smirked and noticed his eye twitch at that, indicating I hit a weak spot. “I will be with father, and that’s all that is important to me.“ he answered calmly with a seemingly innocent smile. Ubbe and Sigurd were staring at us awkwardly, first at me, then at Ivar and back at me, while Hvitserk was just scoffing at every comeback one of us said. Apparently Björn grew tired of this and with a heavy sigh told us to break it up and to get ready to sail soon. “I would like a word with my sister in private first.“ Ivar looked at Björn dead in the eyes with a provocative half-smirk, as if thinking Björn would get jealous that he wants alone time with me. “Alright. Take all the time you need.“ Björn shrugged and I handed him the dogs’ ropes so I can go with Ivar.

He started leading me away from all the people until we reached an alleyway. “Remember when you used to pull a wagon with me in it? You were my legs.” he leaned against the wall of an abandoned hut with a smile. I crouched next to him ”I remember.” I answered “But why are you bringing it up now?” Ivar looked at me with a mixed expression. He was watching me with adoration, yet he was on the verge of tears. He wanted to say “I love you”, yet “I hate you” at the same time. I bit my lip, feeling that I might cry, myself and took his hand in mine. “Because I’m afraid that if I say what I was really thinking of saying, I might break down in tears...and my heart will break...” he answered, his voice, weak and broken. I gasped “Ivar...what are you...”

“Tell me the truth...Are you in love with Björn? Have you had enough of me?“ he cut me off, voice broken and weak. “Of course not, Ivar!“ I couldn’t resist it anymore. Tears started rolling down my eyes and I bit my lip, trying to stop them. “Then why do you want to go with him so much? Why not come with me?“ he hissed, not looking at me. “Because Ragnar doesn’t want me with him. Plus that he isn’t what he was. What do you expect him to accomplish with a dozen old men, Ivar? What raid do you expect there to be?!“ I cried out “Come with us instead!“

“I have decided it already.“ Ivar said stubbornly. Oh, how much I hate that quality of his. “I have decided it too.“ I answered, just as stubbornly. “You go with whoever you want, but...just...“ I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to formulate my sentence ”Promise me to come back alive and well...“ Ivar smirked slightly “You too. Actually you should be more careful, because like I told you, even a cripple can overpower you.“ I groaned and punched his arm playfully “I promise.“ I smiled.


End file.
